
More pit action at Gilman. The guy in the middle, Richard Howard-Gibbon, played bass in the Lookouts at one point. Photo by Murray Bowles.
Photo by Murray Bowles.

More pit action at Gilman. The guy in the middle, Richard Howard-Gibbon, played bass in the Lookouts at one point. Photo by Murray Bowles.
That’s actually the name of a never-quite-finished Potatomen song. Or, to be quite accurate, I finished writing it, and the band even practiced it a few times, but for one reason or another, it never quite made it into the repertoire, catalog, what have you.
I still hum it to myself once in a while, though, especially whenever I’m moved to tackle that ragged cardboard box of photos dating back to the late 60s that’s been hogging space in the middle of my office floor almost since I moved into this apartment a year and a half ago.
The goal is to get all the pictures, at least the worthwhile ones, scanned and put up on the internet so they’ll live on for posterity. Unfortunately, there are enough of them that I fear I’ll wear out my scanner before I’m anywhere near finished, and then of course there’s always the worry about whether the internet itself will have room for them all.
But it’s a particularly wretched and rainy weekend (two parts England and one part Eureka), so I made a stab at getting started, and here are some of the first results:
First up, above we have a picture I took at Gilman in 1993, featuring Paul from Monsula, Marshall Stax from Blatz and Subincision, and Bill Schneider, who was in Monsula, the Skin Flutes, Uranium Nine Volt, and currently plays with Pinhead Gunpowder. Below is one of the very few photographs (he was not fond of having his picture taken) of MRR head honcho and Gilman Street co-founder Tim Yohannan. It was taken by Murray Bowles, sometime, I’m guessing, during the late 80s, though it could have been later. I should know who the guy with him is, but I can’t quite place him. Someone out there will tell me, I’m sure.
Above we have Dallas Denery, now Professor Dallas Denery, singing with Sweet Baby Jesus. I’m guessing this is Club Foot in San Francisco, which would make it late 1986. Photo by Murray Bowles. The guy in the cowboy hat in the background is “Diamond” Dave Whitaker, about whom Bob Dylan said, “A great curiosity respecting the man had also seized me and I had to find out who Woody Guthrie was. It didn’t take me long. Dave Whitaker, one of the Svengali-type Beats on the scene happened to have Woody’s autobiography, Bound for Glory, and he lent it to me. I went through it from cover to cover like a hurricane, totally focused on every word.” Dave also claims to be the one who first turned Dylan onto pot when the then-aspiring folk singer used to crash on his floor in Dinkytown.
Below are “Dr.” Frank Portman and Jon Von Zelowitz playing with the Mr. T Experience, definitely at the Club Foot (I’d know that wallpaper anywhere), and almost certainly in the autumn of 1986. Photo again by Murray Bowles.


Above and below: the advent of the Gilman Geeks, 1987, most likely. Both photos by Murray Bowles.


Above: Robert Eggplant, renowned for many things, but perhaps most famous for his roles as guitarist of Blatz and editor-publisher of Absolutely Zippo. This is possibly the neatest, as in most orderly, that Eggplant’s hair has ever been since he first showed up at Gilman on his skateboard in 1987, aged 14.
Below: Jesse Luscious, lead singer of Blatz, at a show in Eggplant’s legendary backyard (also the scene of the *very* last Operation Ivy show, which took place the after the much better known last show at Gilman Street. I won’t even pretend to know what exactly is going on here, so I’ll leave it to your imaginations. Also of note: Jesse is currently an elected official in the City of Berkeley and still volunteers at Gilman. Both photos by Murray Bowles.
Above: David Hayes, co-founder of Lookout Records, 1986 or 87. It should be noted that David was not normally in the habit of eating rats. Photo by me. Below: Patrick Hynes and Chris Appelgren, the bright sparks who replaced David when he left Lookout at the end of 1989. Photo by me, I think, but I wouldn’t swear to it.
Above: Canadian indie faves cub pay a visit to the place where it all – okay, well, some of it – began. This was one of their first trips to California, and Smugglers front man (and current CBC radio personality) Grant Lawrence filled in on drums for them. On the left, Robynn Iwata and in the middle, Lisa Marr. I have no idea who took the photo. Perhaps a passing pot farmer?
Below: Grant Lawrence looking dapper, debonair, suave and sophisticated as he sits backstage preparing a Smugglers setlist. I guess I took the photo? I really don’t know.
Above: Ian Mackaye unloads equipment from the Fugazi van in Prague, (then) Czechoslovakia, 1992. The redhead in the foreground is Mary Jane, who along with Christy Colcord was driving the Mr. T Experience around Europe, and I was along for the ride. Mary Jane and Christy also took Green Day on their first couple European tours. Photo by me.
Below: Chris Gambin, generally believed to be the inspiration for the character “Little G” in the Aaron Cometbus novel Double Duce. Atop a bale of hay in Old Town, Eureka (something to do with the 4th of July), probably 1992. Photo by me. 
Above: Joe King and I at Big Sound studio near Portland, Maine, during the recording of the Queers’ Don’t Back Down. Joe always tried very hard not to be amused by my antics, but he wasn’t always successful.
Below: I’m not sure if this was one of my antics or if I’m just passed out on the floor with Joe’s guitar. Same studio, same occasion; I don’t know who took the photos. It could have been Mass Giorgini, who was engineering the session.
Above: Nardwuar the Human Serviette of Vancouver BC’s Evaporators, radio and television fame, and certainly Canada’s most singular interviewer and all-round personality!
Below: Davey, about whom there’s a Potatomen song and who is now a distinguished professor of art at a college whose location will remain undisclosed because he’d kill me if his students ever caught sight of this photo. Taken by me at Gilman Street, 1993.
And that’s it for now. I have an appointment somewhere out there in the pouring rain. Oh, by the way, the two old folks at the top are my great-great grandfather and grandmother. The photo was taken sometime in the 1870s, I believe.
Granted, when it comes to snow we’re in a better position than Vancouver to host the Winter Olympics, but nonetheless, yesterday’s much-ballyhooed “blizzard,” which closed down schools, offices, stores, airports, and transit systems even before a single flake had fallen, turned out to be nothing but a run-of-the-mill snowstorm, the sort of thing you’d expect anyone who’d grown up in the northern half of the country to have gotten used to by the time they were in middle school. I’m talking specifically about New York City, of course; people down the coast in Philly, Baltimore and Washington actually did have to contend with some serious snow, but as I kept asking people yesterday: when did this town turn into such a quivering mass of sissydom? (“In 1995,” someone helpfully pointed out on my Facebook.) Maybe it’s not fair of me to make comparisons after my years in the mountains, where I experienced a number of real blizzards, and nearly died in one (but more about that in future installments of Spy Rock Memories), but to be a blizzard, a storm has to have howling winds, near-zero visibility, and snowdrifts piling up faster than you can dig your way through them. None of this happened in New York yesterday. Some snow fell out of the sky for a few hours, then it turned to a sort of misty half snow/half rain, and, well, that was about it. The National Weather Service, which unleashed all this hysteria, claims that some parts of the city got over a foot of snow, but in my journeys between Brooklyn and Manhattan (on near-empty trains, what with everyone being convinced that travel was next to impossible) , I never saw more six or eight inches, and by midnight last night, much of that had turned to slush as temperature rose into the mid-30s. A friend who lives just off Times Square told me that the sidewalks had never even been completely covered. By morning, the temperature had dropped and the slush turned to ice, which sucked for those who had put off their shoveling duties. Other than that, though, the sun shone brightly and the city was free to go about its business as usual, or at least will be as soon as people muster up the courage to venture outside again. Which brings me to one sore point, i.e., the plane I was meant to be taking to California today being canceled (again, almost before any snow had even fallen). If the city can sufficiently clear hundreds of miles of streets so that cars can travel around (and there was never a time, even at the height of the storm yesterday, when even my side street was impassable, surely the airport can manage to shovel enough snow off its runways to allow planes to take off. I’ve flown into places like Chicago, Minneapolis and Winnipeg when there were two feet of freshly fallen snow. As became clear later, it wasn’t a matter of planes being unable to get in and out of New York, is was more a matter of the airlines not being willing even to try. Be that as it may, the decision was made, the flights were canceled, and that should have been that. When I got the call from American Airlines telling me I wouldn’t be going to California after all, the woman on the phone sounded so harried and overwhelmed that I instantly sympathized with her and tried to be as understanding as possible. I shouldn’t have. Other friends who had similar experiences ranted and raved until they were rerouted and given huge vouchers to compensate them for their troubles. I instead took the lady’s word for it when she said that there were “no seats” on any flights going out either today or Friday. Again, I shouldn’t have. The reason I was going to California was that some friends of mine have a band who are playing one of their very occasional shows (every couple years or so, sometimes not even that often) and I wanted to see them and take my nephew to see them. I also would have the chance to see my mom for a couple days. I called everyone and told them I wouldn’t be able to come after all, and shortly afterward, friends who were going to the same show started telling me that they’d been able to get their tickets changed and wondered why I hadn’t. Well, I did a little research and discovered that the lady from American Airlines has straight up lied to me. She said there weren’t any seats on later planes, but there actually were. Funny thing, though: instead of selling them for $125 each way, which was what I had paid, they were now asking between $1500 and $2000 for those same seats. No wonder they hadn’t been too anxious to transfer me to another flight

American Airlines website, 12 hours after they swore there were "no seats" available for the next two days.
Well, live and learn. Until this happened, I’d been reasonably happy with American (“reasonably” and “happy” of course being employed in the necessarily relative sense necessary when dealing with any monolithic semi-monopolistic corporation). I’d switched to them from United when that company went into the dumpster (and stopped flying direct between New York and London, which is kind of like not being able to catch a direct BART train from Berkeley to San Francisco except at peak hours, but I digress), and until now, I’d never had any truly bad experiences with them. Oh, I’ll get over it; I’m sure my friends’ band will play again sometime, somewhere, and I’ll see my mom another time, and take my nephew on a different outing, but it really just rubs me the wrong way. You hear that, American Airlines? I DON’T LIKE BEING LIED TO! So you made some extra money reselling the seat I should have had for 12 or 15 times what I paid for it. It’s going to cost you a lot more than that to regain my trust and good will.
No, this isn’t really about the Super Bowl, though congratulations are in order to the New Orleans Saints for a gutsy performance and well-deserved victory. I only saw about half the game, having attached a greater priority to the Chelsea-Arsenal match broadcast earlier in the day, and then lollygagging about the house all afternoon instead of a) getting out to the park to do my running and t’ai chi; and b) writing this piece I’m finally getting around to now at 3 o’clock in the morning.
At some point in my life I developed the notion that exercise doesn’t really count unless it’s done first thing in the morning, which gave me the perfect excuse, on those many occasions when I didn’t rise until it was getting on toward noon, to tell myself, “Well, there’s no point in bothering with it now, might as well put it off till tomorrow.” But the other night I ran into Luis of Urban Rustic and Pansy Division, who told me that he could only exercise late in the day and after he’d eaten (another of my superstitions was that exercise didn’t count unless it was done before breakfast).
Now I didn’t necessarily want to switch to his system, but it’s clearly working for him, which in one fell swoop shot down two of my cherished beliefs and, worse, removed any remaining rationalizations for goofing off just because I’d let most of the day get away from me. So there I was bundling up in multiple layers (the temperature was in the upper 20s, but with the wind chill felt more like 10 or so) and setting off for a run in the 6 pm darkness.
It wasn’t bad, actually. I ended up doing 3 1/2 miles, which is about as much as I’ve ever done, though I feel ready to step it up a notch or two. It was a little harder to stay warm when I shifted to t’ai chi, which entails more standing around or moving rather slowly, and it was during this time that a fierce wind kicked up. Or, to be more accurate, the wind that had already kicked up suddenly got a lot more fierce. In fact it nearly blew me over a couple of times.
Meanwhile, of course, I was missing the first half of the Super Bowl, but it was more fun feeling like Rocky when (I’ve only seen a couple of the movies, so I don’t know if this happens in all of them) he decides he’s going to fight and starts running all over Philadelphia in the freezing cold, etc. It was all I could do to stop myself from punching my fists in the air at a couple of points, and then what did I see but this husky guy who’d been the only other occupant of the running track, and who’d run alongside me for a mile or so giving me a running commentary (unsolicited but not unwelcome) on his fitness regimen and philosophy, doing the Rocky fist pump himself.
The best thing, though, was the realization that I’m gradually becoming almost impervious to winter. Oh, I’m still looking forward to spring and summer, and if I had my way, New York would bask in tropical heat all year round, but it’s no longer a major issue for me. Walking home after my workout, I took the long way around, and strolled almost as though it were languid midsummer. I’d heard people sing the praises of crystalline winter nights (and generally thought they were imbeciles), but as I left McCarren Park and headed toward Driggs Avenue, it was as though the cable company had come round and given the skyline an upgrade to high def.
Oh, the cable company, that’s been a sore point around here lately. For months the internet has frequently been cutting out in both my apartment and the one downstairs, to the point where it’s often been unusable. Many calls and letters, some angst-ridden and some just plain angry, have been exchanged with our local monopoly. Periodically the service starts working again for two or three weeks before going back to its old tricks.
But they finally seem to have begun taking our situation seriously, as in the past two weeks we’ve had visits from at least a dozen of Time Warner’s finest, including, most recently, several technicians who a) actually appeared to know what they were doing; and b) were not only willing, but eager to deploy this expertise in the cause of resolving our problem. Saturday afternoon they arrived en masse, three trucks – a fourth later showed up, but I think that was only to jumpstart one of the other trucks whose battery had gone flat – and something like eight technicians were soon clambering over ladders and rooftops and hacking down wires with gay abandon (a couple of them briefly got into a snowball fight, but apart from that it was strictly business).
The neighbors got dragged into it, too; the landlady next door was mad because she had to open the gate and let them into the back without their having an appointment (and after all, as she pointed out, her cable was working just fine), and the super, who also takes care of the building on the other side, was less than thrilled when they managed to knock out cable service to several of the apartments in that building.
And even when all the new wires had been strung and the various crews stood milling around in the street discussing where they might go for coffee, I discovered that my television, which had never had a problem to begin with, was now heavily “pixillated.” I’d heard the word many times before; my pseudo-Auntie Olive in London regularly used it to describe people who were, in her view, not quite right in the head, but apparently it also refers to televisions whose pictures are having a breakdown. Oh wait, I just discovered that the correct word for that is “pixellated” or “pixelated,” from, obviously, pixels, whereas Auntie Olive’s term had something to do with pixies.
Anyway, I was told that the TV was doing this because my cable signal was now too strong instead of too weak, but a few more tweaks and I was all set to plop myself in front of it for a Sunday of football, both English and American, should I so choose. But as it happened, I spent more time twittering away (both figuratively and literally) on the internet, which makes it all the more unconscionable that I didn’t get this work done many hours ago.
What work, you say? Well, I felt it my duty to report on the massive Don Giovanni Records shindig that I was privileged to attend last night at the Bowery Ballroom. I had been a little suspicious that DGR honcho Joe Steinhardt might be bumping up the numbers and the hype when he warned people to get tickets in advance because the event might sell out, but as it happened, he was right on the money. There was as big a crowd shoehorned into the Bowery as there had been for last May’s Green Day show,and my first question on arriving was, “Who are all these people?”
Joe was equally mystified. “I think I know about 50 of them,” he said, leaving us to ponder where the other six or seven hundred had come from. I asked friends and acquaintances for their opinion: had the crowd mostly come in from Jersey to see their homegrown label’s big city triumph? Or had New York punks and hipsters glommed on to the Don Giovanni bandwagon? The answer, I think, was that the show drew on multiple constituencies. As the night went on, I spotted Williamsburg scenesters who never previously would have been caught dead at a show I was attending (and vice versa), though a lot of them seemed to disappear after Screaming Females, one of the bands du jour, had played. But the joint was equally packed for Blake Schwarzenbach’s forgetters, who came as close to replicating the sound and feel of an old-school Jawbreaker show as I would have imagined possible or likely.
I mentioned that to Blake afterward, somewhat tentatively, as musicians generally don’t like to hear that their new band sounds like their old band, but he took it in stride. “I’ve made my peace with the Jawbreaker legacy,” he said, or words to that effect, which emboldened me to remark how much it annoyed me when bands refused to play their old songs, the ones people had often specifically come hoping to hear. “Oh, I’ve often been known to do that,” he cheerfully acknowledged.
It was not my first time seeing Screaming Females, but they’ve come a long way since I last encountered them in Maxwell’s or somesuch, and of course the high-powered sound system and wildly enthusiastic crowd didn’t hurt, either. Critics far more knowledgeable than me have been gushing over them; about all I can add is that lead singer and guitarist Marissa Paternoster sounds uncannily like Siouxsie Sioux backed up by Cream-era Eric Clapton, the twist being, of course, that she plays all the guitar parts herself. Go ahead and call me sexist if you want, but I have never heard a woman play guitar the way that she does. For that matter, I haven’t heard many people of either gender play guitar with her style and her virtuosity. I literally, if I may dredge up an old cliché, stood there with my jaw hanging open at times.
The only critique I might offer is that just because you can play all those notes doesn’t mean you have to. Many times guitar wizards, at least in my opinion, are best advised to dial it back a bit, concentrate on power chords and only let the lightning out of the bottle at certain special intervals. When your whole song starts to sound like a Hendrix solo, it can become difficult to sort out verse from chorus from overture and epilogue. But hey, as Oliver told me, the whole hesher thing is back bigtime, and at any rate, I’m in no position to argue with a roomful of fans who loved every second of it.
I could say much the same for JEFF The Brotherhood. Normally – no, just about always – when I see a two-piece band setting up, my heart is filled with a mixture of trepidation and weariness. Art damage ahead, my internal sentinel cries out (for some reason I make an exception for Shellshag, about whom more later). It’s not that two people can’t play music, and certainly they can do a splendid job of singing (Everly Brothers, Simon and Garfunkel, who could ask for more?), but when you’ve got two people deliberately eschewing the standard instruments and lineup employed by almost every great band there ever was, you kind of have to ask: why?
It’s like training a dog to walk on two legs. Sure, some dogs may get very good at it. A few might even, with enough practice, might get almost as good as a person or at least a monkey. But it’s almost a dead cert that no dog will ever learn to do on two legs what he’s capable of on four, and I think the principle holds equally true for musicians.
Granted, both members of JEFF The Brotherhood are extremely talented, both as musicians and performers. Granted, too, that the crowd went wild for them, especially the young kids, who had a full-on slam pit going. Note, too, that singer-guitarist Jake Orrall unleashes all his pyrotechnics on a deliberately modified three-string guitar. Which leaves many admirers saying, “Wow. Just wow.” And leaves me thinking, “That’s great, kid. Now just think what you could do with a real guitar and a bass player.”
As I said, though, the people loved it. Who cares what I think? Also, I can see this going over very big in Williamsburg. In fact, I believe it already has. Speaking of Brooklyn, Shellshag played last, apparently by their own choice; I felt bad for them, because by the time they took the stage it had gotten so late that the crowd had thinned out considerably. I didn’t make it to the end of the set myself, pulling out somewhere between 1:30 and 2 am. The hypnotic, trancelike music that Shellshag specialize in has a charm and appeal that totally transcends the two-person genre, and I think it’s because what they do doesn’t even attempt to mimic traditional music forms the way some of my less favorite duos like, say, the White Stripes, do. If I were back in Northern California, still smoking pot, and given to doing tribal dances around the campfire (not as far removed from some of my previous incarnations as you might think), I could probably listen to Shellshag all night. The 21st century New York City version of me, however, wants to get on the subway while there’s still a reasonable chance that one will come soon.
Congratulations once again to Joe Steinhardt and Zach Gajewski for pulling off such a spectacularly successful night. Despite some of my musical cavils, I had a great time catching up with old friends and new. I especially appreciate what they’ve done with Don Giovanni, however, because it gives me something to point to when indie label owners start whining about how it’s impossible in the current environment to replicate the kind of success that many indie labels enjoyed in the 80s and 90s. Difficult, maybe. Impossible, clearly not.
And with that, I should wrap this up, but one more item: just as I was considering going to bed many hours ago, the most godawful growling, moaning and screeching sounds emerged from under my bedroom window, which happens to face out onto the street. A lot of drunken hipsters and superannuated frat boys pass by on a typical weekend night, and though few of them produce sounds as loud or obnoxious as the ones I was hearing, they do make a ruckus from time to time.
But unless they decide to stop and have a conversation in front of my house (in which case a bucket of cold water generally works wonders), they come and go pretty quickly; the sounds under my window, however showed no signs of abating. In fact they seemed to be getting louder. Fearful that somebody’s conceptual art project had gone astray and gotten trapped between houses, I poked my head out the window and saw a disheveled, longhaired man bellowing as he tried to get our front door open.
It was just sounds, not words, and the kind of sounds you would expect to hear from a very sick or wounded dog more so than a human. Prospects for establishing meaningful discourse with him didn’t augur well, but I tried nonetheless: “Yo, get the hell out of here or we’re gonna call the cops.” He growled at me and went back to trying to open the door.
I spoke more firmly, perhaps adding an expletive or two, and then he finally managed to say in English: “I live here.”
“No you don’t. Now please leave. I’m sorry if you’ve got a problem, but you can’t have it here.” I did not sound nearly as reasonable as the words look on the page.
My downstairs neighbor came up, frightened because he’d been kicking at her window. She’d already called the cops, and so we waited while our unwanted visitor started getting undressed (it was 24 degrees at the time). I don’t know how far he was planning to take it, but when the cops showed up finally (about 15 or 20 minutes; it’s a good thing he wasn’t Jack Nicholson smashing his way through our front door with an ax), he was barefoot and his shirt was half unbuttoned.
Although it took the cops a while to get here, when they finally did, they showed up, perhaps inspired by Time Warner, en masse. Three cars, six cops, and later an ambulance, which ended up taking the unfortunate souse to a detox unit. But what I really marveled at was how patient and good-natured the cops were. I’ve heard many people complain about how rude or brutal or unfair New York City cops can be (you might recall a certain spoiled rich kid prefab rock band that had a patently dishonest song to that effect), but I personally have never had a bad experience with them.
And let’s be honest: I was almost hoping they would grab this guy and brusquely, even roughly haul him away. He’d been out there giving us grief for nearly an hour, and proceeded to do the same to the cops, at one point even raising his hand as if he were ready to fight them. Which would not be a wise move, one of the officers observed in a lilting Caribbean accent. Now that the malefactor was out in the light, we could see that he wasn’t the wild-eyed wolfman he’d appeared to be while lurking in the shadows; in fact, he was a skinny, extremely drunk hipster and/or recently matriculated college student who had the look and attitude of Westchester or Connecticut money stamped all over his stroppy little hide.
When it finally sunk in that he was surrounded by cops who were about to take him into custody, he managed a remarkable recovery, switching from growls back into English, but it was too little, too late. He couldn’t come up with any ID except an American Express gold card and couldn’t or wouldn’t tell the police where he lived (instead, he kept pointing at our house). Despite all of this, the cops spent the better part of half an hour trying to help him come to his senses, trying to get a coherent response from him that would allow them to send him home instead of taking him in.
I’ve always thought that it takes a very special person to be a New York City cop, and after tonight I believe it more than ever. Before they showed up, I was seriously considering taking my mag light (similar to the kind of long flashlights that police use) downstairs and applying some street discipline of my own. I’m not saying this would be a good idea, but there it was running laps around my head. Yet while cops have to deal with people like him and much worse day in and day out, they’re still capable of being light-hearted, friendly, helpful and courteous to someone most of us would like to deal with by way of a couple good thumps upside the head.
Anyway, that’s it. Thanks to the NYPD for restoring peace and justice to our quiet little street, and thanks to any of you who’ve managed to make it all the way through this hypertrophic bit of bloggery. Now if I move quickly I just might make it into bed before the sun comes up.
“Two Hikers Fend Off Pair Of Mountain Lions,” read the SF Chronicle headline, which turned out to be a misrepresentation; a quick glance at the story revealed that it had in fact been the hikers who were fended off by the lions, who pursued them back to their car and watched as they drove away.
Mountain lion encounters – and occasional attacks, sometimes on humans, more often on pets and livestock – have become more common in California in recent years. The expansion of human activity into what had previously been lion territory is the reason usually given, but this doesn’t explain why lions have become more active in areas – wooded suburbs, for example – where they haven’t been seen in decades. An equally if not more plausible explanation would be the ban on the hunting of mountain lions passed by statewide referendum in 1990.
At the time I had a house in what could reasonably be called mountain lion territory. Although I never personally saw one, neighbors reported having spotted lions on my property, and one girl I knew had a harrowing face-to-face encounter with one. And while this is purely anecdotal evidence, I did notice a major change in the local wildlife population during the 1990s. Until that time, deer were a common sight in the mountains where I lived. Not just individual deer, but vast herds of them. At one point, I counted nearly a hundred grazing on the hillside above my house.
By the mid-90s, the herds had vanished, and when I did spot deer, they were usually on their own or in groups of no more than two or three. At the same time, mountain lion sightings increased dramatically. Connection? My guess is yes, and it was also during this period that lions began showing up more frequently in or on the edges of major urban areas. An attempt was made to rescind the hunting ban in 1996, but voters gave it the thumbs down, and it remains in place today.
There have been ten verified mountain lion attacks on human beings (this doesn’t include encounters, even threatening ones, of which there have been many more) since the hunting ban, which would seem like a minuscule number in a state the size of California, except for the fact that there had been only half that many in the entire century preceding it. Whether you consider it a lot or a few, it was clearly a number that the people of California were willing to live with, though it might be fair to point out that the vast majority of those voting to protect mountains lions live in places where they are extremely unlikely to encounter them.
What I find more intriguing – and this is evident in the comments by readers of the Chronicle article – is how many people seem to find it positively thrilling that they – or preferably their neighbor, I suspect – could be torn limb from limb by a vicious predator. Whether it’s expressed in terms of “It’s the lions’ territory, you should just stay out of it if you don’t want to be attacked,” or “The lions are just being themselves; its natural,” or, as one guy bluntly put it, “I’ll root for the lions,” I can’t help thinking what a strange species we humans are.
Or is it just me that sees a logical disconnect here? For those who argue that it’s the lions’ territory (“their turf, their rules,” as one reader put it), I can’t help noting that this particular attack took place in a park. A park, by almost any definition, is human territory. It wouldn’t exist were it not for human effort and organization. As for “the lions are just acting naturally,” well, true, but isn’t it equally natural for human beings – who in case you’ve forgotten, are also carnivorous predators – to hunt? Yet a large majority of Californians supports natural behavior for one species and outlaws it for another.
As for the guy who is “rooting for the lions,” well, no doubt that was a flippant remark on his part, one which he would most likely be willing to retract if given the choice of having a lion gnawing on his innards while he was still alive (yes, dears, that does happen; surely you’ve seen similar things on the Discovery Channel?). It reminds me of the airy (some might say airheaded) disdain with which some city dwellers (Oaklanders are especially prone to this) attempt to minimize soaring crime rates: rather than admit that their town has a problem, they’ll dismiss you as a sissy or a hysterical suburbanite if you show an unwillingness to be mugged. It’s as though they get a thrill from living “on the edge,” as if deliberately placing themselves in harm’s way makes their lives more “real” or meaningful.
Of course those most likely to hold romanticized views about wildlife, be if of the animal or human variety, are also those most likely to live at a safely removed distance from it. I know my own ideas underwent a transformation when I first moved to the country. It was then that I developed my “Bambi” hypothesis: that kids growing up in urban America had gotten their ideas of nature from watching Disney cartoons, where everything was sweet and harmonious, where all the lovely little woodland creatures were cuddly and cute, and, as the old saw has it, “Only man is vile.”
It came as a shock, then, to find that at every turn there were creatures, as small as ticks and mosquitoes or as large as wildcats and bears, who not only didn’t want to cuddle with me or sit around the campfire whistling Kumbaya, but who in the pursuance of their own particular aims could make my own life unpleasant, difficult or impossible. I don’t mean to overstate the case; it’s not as though I was under constant attack or that I didn’t, for the most part, live in happy harmony with my environment. But when confronted with rattlesnakes or rabid skunks, or the raccoons that took up residence under my house, or the bear that trashed it, brute force proved far more useful than the power of reason and understanding.
The case of the bear was especially illustrative. He’d been tearing things up for around six months, ripping the door off the shed and a wall off the doghouse in search of food before smashing through my window and demolishing my kitchen. My dogs and cats were starving because he took their food as fast as I could put it out for them. Yet when I finally went after him with the shotgun, my city friends were horrified. “It’s his home, not yours,” was the most popular refrain. Wrong. At that time, I’d been living there for 15 bear-free years; he moved onto my land only that year, during a time when the bear population was increasing. Even still, his den was way down the hill from my house and I was happy to leave him in peace there, happy for him to forage and hunt all over my land, in fact. I asked only that he stay out of one little corner of it, the corner where I lived. I didn’t go poking into his den, I reasoned; what gave him the right to come into mine?
Ultimately, my only alternatives were either to move away or to use force to protect my right to stay there. And folks, this is how it works. Human beings do not exist in some sort of bubble outside of “nature,” they are part of it. Granted, they are often guilty of using their wiles and technology to gain an advantage over other creatures, but so is every other creature. I never heard of a mosquito who refrained from biting a sleeping child because it didn’t want to infect it with malaria, never heard of a lion who said to the antelope, well, I’m very hungry, but you’re such a pretty antelope that I’m going to starve myself so you can continue to run free.
True, one of the best things about human beings is that they are capable of being altruistic, and of making sacrifices for the larger benefit. And one of the worst things about them is that they too seldom actually do this. But loving nature and living in harmony with it is one thing; hating oneself and volunteering as a victim is quite another. A few years ago I coined the term (at least I think I did) “anthropophobia” to describe the phenomenon of people who seemed uncomfortable with the fact that they were, well, people. To them I say, please, get over it. It’s neither cute nor clever, and if you really think people are that bad, why not do us all a favor and go feed yourself to an endangered predator? Bengal tigers and polar bears come to mind; if you’re more of a water person, there are always sharks and killer whales. Any and all of these beautiful creatures will happily eviscerate and devour you. I mean, it’s only natural, isn’t it?
The clouds hung around all day long in that brooding yet charged with anticipation sort of way that I remember from my childhood. The weatherman wasn’t predicting it, but when I was out in the park this morning I said to myself that there’s got to be some snow on the way.
Then later the old weatherman changed his tune and said, well, maybe there’ll be a few snow showers tomorrow morning, but this felt like more than a shower and not at all like the sort of thing that could hold off until the next day. Sure enough, when I emerged from a get-together on the Upper West Side around 8 pm a few windblown flakes were already stinging my face, and by the time I’d finished dinner at my favorite (primarily because it’s fast, cheap and thoroughly undistinguished) Cuban-Chinese restaurant, there was a regular old snowstorm going on.
Nothing like the brief but potent blizzard that roared through here back in December, when for a few hours walking through Times Square came to resemble a dogsled trek (minus the dogs and the sled) through the Yukon Territory, just an old-fashioned, run of the mill February snowstorm, the kind that reminds you, yes, it’s still winter and it’s going to be for a while yet.
By way of contrast, while the sky was full of snow tonight, the streets around Times Square were only a bit damp, as if heat were radiating up from the sidewalks and stopping the flakes in their tracks. I ducked into one of the multiplexes for a late night showing of Crazy Heart, not because I’m a big fan of Jeff Bridges (The Big Lebowski cured me of that), not because he’s got an Academy Award nomination as Best Actor for this film, though I supposed that helped a bit, but mostly because I love country music, especially the kind that features tragic, hopeless drunks. Or tragic hopeless anything: David Allan Coe’s version of the “perfect” country song that starts out, “I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison” is right up my street even if it’s supposed to be comedy. In fact, that’s the genius of country music; even the worst tragedy can end up sounding hilarious, and vice versa.
If, as Oscar Wilde said, “One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing,” the same is true when Tammy Wynette sighs about she and little J-O-E having to go away because of that nasty old divorce. It doesn’t even matter if you’re fully aware just how awful and painful a divorce and child custody battles can be; her way of telling about it is just so over the top cathartic that you can be crying tears of laughter and grief all at the same time.
Unfortunately, while there were a few moments of comic poignancy in Crazy Heart, it was mostly pretty grim going. On the one hand, I’d say Jeff Bridges is a worthy candidate for the Oscar for the way he not only inhabits but pretty much becomes his character, but the verisimilitude he brings to the role may actually hurt the film: the simple fact is that it’s not a lot of fun, nor is it uplifting, to watch a man drinking himself to death.
There were only about 15 people in the theater, and nearly half of them had walked out before the movie was over, so that might tell you something, if only that this is New York City, where country ways may not make a whole lot of sense to most people. But having spent my formative years in Detroit, the most northerly Southern town in these United States, and Ypsilanti, aka Ypsi-tucky, Michigan, and having then spent another ten years in the true hillbilly country (albeit with a marijuana twist) of Mendocino County, I’ve got enough country in me that when an annoying couple in the back row persisted in talking loudly through some of the most intimate and dramatic scenes, I found myself calling out, “Would y’all please be quiet back there?”
Of course I’ve got my own history of disappearing into a whiskey bottle, and even though I’d like to think my brand of choice was a more tasteful one than that favored by Bridges’ character, the results were much the same: inwardly, a lot of sturm und drang at the spectacle of a life going hopelessly down the pan; outwardly, a sloppy, aging drunk sitting around pissing, moaning, puking and passing out. Inside our heads, the Grand Ole Opry, outside, perpetual reruns of a show no sane person would want to watch in the first place.
I’ve been off the booze for eight and a half years now, and I probably won’t be spoiling the movie by telling you that in the end the Bridges character gets clean, too, and in both cases, while we didn’t get the rewards we might have hoped for (Bridges does collect a fat check of the sort that has thus far continued to elude me), we found others that at the time we were still drinking, we wouldn’t even known to look for.
All right, all right, I know it’s just a movie and that Jeff Bridges’ character and I were not really drinking nor recovery buddies, but it’s a testimony to his acting ability (and/or, possibly, some serious experience on the drinking front in real life) that I felt nearly as much kinship with him as I do with friends I now see fighting – and not always winning – the battle with alcohol.
It’s been long enough now since my last drink that I often go days or even weeks at a time without fully remembering just how awful it was at the end, and just how lucky I am to still be here with body and mind reasonably intact and healthy. Quite a few people I’ve known haven’t been so fortunate, and given the way things go, I expect I’ll be attending a few more drunkards’ funerals before my time is through.
Well, what the hell: I didn’t enjoy Crazy Heart in the way I thought I would, as pure entertainment, but I enjoyed it – though “enjoy” doesn’t really seem like quite the right word – a great deal in an uplifting, thank God I made it out of my own drunken nightmare kind of way. I walked back out onto 42nd Street well after midnight, and though the sidewalks still didn’t have a lick of snow on them, overhead it was like a picture postcard. By the time I got back to Brooklyn, where apparently the pavement is several degrees cooler, a couple inches had piled up, enough so that I can count on being awakened no later than 7 or 7:30 by the super shoveling away. He’s not the kind of guy to let the sun rise on a less than spotless sidewalk in front of his building, no sirree.